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This Website tells the story of someone who had many barriers to loving others for so long but who eventually found freedom to love with God's forgiveness, grace, and help. Bocks to love such as: supressed black anger, merciless hatred, blinding insensitivity, assortments of addiction, as well as unhealthy doses of legalism, a sea of pride, blunt judgmentalism, many fears and strong insecurities, plenty of selfishness, a lot of closed-mindedness, believing of lies, and incorrect thinking; and replacing them over time with the fruits of the Spirit which are: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control
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Breakdown Of Website Contents:

THE STORY OF MY ILLNESS IN BOOK FORM:

TO BE BROKEN INTO FREEDOM: A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY:

Anyone who encounters roads that involve pain like the word “broken” suggests will usually draw back before entering those roads in order to count the costs. If one can summon the faith to believe that “freedom to love” will result then the odds that they will take such roads will increase.

Doing acts that don't gratify us in the doing, but bring joy only afterwards is what love is all about. I am well aware that in each human heart either a battle was fought, is being fought, or will be fought in the name of love or in the name of self. Either we are struggling with evil in order to do good, or we are trying to numb our consciences when doing evil, or we are abiding in Jesus bearing good fruit.

This story is about how God used pain and suffering to show me what He finds most important in our lives: Love. While going through University in Edmonton, I eventually came to see that everything was empty if it does not somehow involve love. This conception of faith would grow and grow until I dedicated my life to Jesus in 1989. This commitment however could not erase the terrible state my soul was in spiritually. Living life on my own terms before the summer of 1989 wreaked havoc on my soul's ability to love others deeply. I wanted to love, but I was a two-year old babe when it came to love. True, I did have a genuine passion for Jesus, but I had plenty of legalistic, proud, hateful, insensitive, judgmental, and immature attitudes in my heart hindering me from doing God's will more authentically. Eventually because my heart was in such a dismal state, I lost my footing and focus in my Christian walk and began to regress. My self-importance, self-indulgence and spiritual blindness grew and I got to the point where either I would die spiritually if that is what I wanted, or take the alternative: Jesus' invitation for me to be broken into freedom so that I would one day love maturely.

In To Be Broken Into Freedom: A Spiritual Journey, I outline all the details, obstacles, bends in the road, suffering, and decisions I made that enabled me to navigate through the brokenness and darkness I encountered. And I also record the process of me slowly learning to love and walk in the light and freedom there after. This journey took many years. Years that showed me what was and is in my heart so that God could get me to repent through His guidance and strength, and so become more and more able to love. Anyone who wants to know what Saint John of the Cross' Dark Night is about would do well to read this story. In short, this is a story about a person who journeys from folly to meaning, from childhood to adulthood, from playing the Christian to living it, from addiction to freedom, from sanity to insanity and from insanity back to sanity again, from light into the darkness and from darkness back into the Light, and from shallowness to Love. This is a story about how I navigated through the challenges brought about by my mental illness, and how God used it to change me and to grant me the promised freedom.

THE BLOG:

THE JOURNEY BEYOND:

This section is my blog. It basically focuses on stuff Jesus is teaching me as I grow up in the freedom promised me after my Dark Night or Dark Journey came to an end.

THE REASON:

THE GOOD NEWS (As I see it) is my invitation to knowing the Good News aka: Jesus.

BOOKS & ESSAYS:

INSIGHTS:

This includes a collection of six written compositions: One on LOVE, one on WHAT ABOUT HOPE?, one on FAITH, one on Dismantling The TREE OF KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL Within Me So Love Can Thrive, and one on PATHWAYS TO SEEING HUMILITY. They reveal my thoughts regarding what I consider important to the Christian walk.

This section includes two-essays one of which discusses my version of the traditional Twelve Steps found here: THE EXPANDED TWELVE STEPS and another that brought healing called CYCLES OF ADDICTION that for me were crucial in finding FREEDOM from embarrassing addictions. I also discuss how to abide in the True Vine – Jesus which is the key to becoming free from sins or addictions, and how it is also the source for active, genuine, rich and authentic participation in the love of God for others and self.

I've included an Essay in this section that was written in much pain about what love is, confusion about how to know truth, and my struggles with judging. They are all tied together and was like being birthed all over again into love. The Essay is called: JUDGING AND TRUTH and records a major paradigm shift in how I began to see truth, how to know it, and who to trust, along with how to deal more healthily with my toxic and hurtful judging-mindsets. It contrasts some differences between judging and telling the truth which are very helpful in making healthy strides to non-violence as a pathway through conflicts and is another piece to the puzzles on how to love and not judge people.

It also contains my one-page DEFENCE OF THE TRINITY.

OTHER WEBSITE SELLECTIONS:

ART WORK:

This Artwork captures themes and ideas that became more and more important to me as I journeyed further and further in the Darkness and eventually into the LIGHT.

PHOTOS:

The first two pictures are; one of the Brandywine waterfall, and the other related to the dead tree vision God gave before my Dark Night began. I speak more about these Photos in the story: TO BE BROKEN INTO FREEDOM: A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY. The remaining photos are some of the better images I took over the years.

POETRY:

In this section I share some of the poetry that I came up with over the years, along with some prayers of praise directed to GOD.

GENERAL OVERVIEW & PIVITAL MOMENTS: For those who have an Visual or Analytic mind or want to see the BIG picture, along with not wanting to miss the ground breaking moments in my story then this is a must read.

Hope you enjoy... and understand much of it!

PEACE & JOY!
René Lafaut.